Love Island has finished, and I have completely forgotten who I was prior to 4th June 2018. How do I socialise? How do I talk about topics that are not centred around Jack and Dani, or Caroline Flack’s post-breakup looks? Please explain what you mean when you say that I can now stay out past 9pm?! HOW DO I MOVE ON?
Like all good grieving widows, I have recently begun the seven stages of grieving. I am still in the first stage: shock & denial that it is no longer acceptable to bring Megan subtly into every conversation I have. But the world is big out there, I think. (I can’t quite remember since Love Island began). It MAY be possible to do things with all this newfound free time on our hands, and to fill the gaping hole that was previously shaped like Laura Anderson.
If you are like me and enjoy being the very antisocial friend who put television shows over their friendships, then welcome – here are six new seasons to binge watch immediately:
- Orange is the new black (6th season)
When I initially started watching this show, it made me think that perhaps I wouldn’t do terribly in prison. It may or may not have been due to the abundance of hot lesbians that seemed to be serving time. The 6th season is out now, so get bingeing.
- Ozark (2nd season)
Laura Linny, Jason Bateman and drug cartels in the middle of America – what more do you need? Find the second season on Netflix this month.
- Made in Chelsea (16th season)
I like to think of this show as the more posh, less aquatic version of Love Island. The drama is intense and I absolutely live for every second. 16th Season starts this week.
- Ibiza Weekender (coming in October)
Pure and utter trash: my fave genre of TV show. Ibiza Weekender comes to ITV in October and you best believe I will be watching every episode.
- Love Island Australia (stream all online)
As an Australian, firstly you are very welcome. Secondly, I’d like to take this opportunity to say that not all Australians are like this (shame). I have watched every single episode and it rivals the UK Love Island. Give it a try.
- Love Island (1st-3rd seasons all on Netflix)
Yes, yes, I would like to note that I am well aware that my last two points are, in fact, Love Island. I can’t break the habit just yet. Find all the previous seasons on Netflix.
Our brains may need a little restart after hearing about nothing but the Do Bits Society for so long, so hit up any of these exhibits happening in August to feel cultured again.
- Spice up London,The biggest exhibit of spice girl memorabilia. Happening at the Business Design Centre in Islington. Details here
- Banksy, Greatest Hits 2002-2008. Hit up the exhibit at Lazinc in Mayfair. Details here
- Picasso, Love, Fame, Tragedy. Running until 9th September at Tate, grab tickets here
- Frida Khalo Wardrobe, V&A is putting on a exhibit of all personal clothing and personal artifacts from artist Frida Kahlo. I can confirm it’s phenomenal. Tickets here
- Frieze Sculptures, 25 artists with their sculptures scattered throughout the stunning Regents Park. Details here
- Michael Jackson on the wall, the National Portrait Gallery is celebrating what would have been his 60th birthday. Tickets here
We may have just spent several weeks of our lives in the theatre of love, but all the plays listed below are better and actual theatre. I’m also hoping that attending these shows will help me stop calling Love Island a theatrical masterpiece. People look at me weird and don’t return my calls after our first date.
- A Monster Calls: based on the brilliant young adult fiction novel by Patrick Ness. A Monster Calls is a stunning piece of theatre that will take you back to being a kid. Get tickets here
- Fun home: if you do anything this summer, please buy tickets to Fun Home. The play is based on Alison Bechdel, the cartoonist who created the Bechdel test. (For those who don’t know the Bechdel test, Google it asap, it’s a wildly discussed test that evaluates the portrayal of women in fiction). She is great and the play is amazing, enough said. Tickets here
- The Jungle: an intensely immersive play that brings a spotlight to the Calais refugee camp. Tickets here
- Twelfth night: Shakespare not as we have always seen it. Jazz and R&B adapts Twelfth night into a whirl wind of love. Grab tickets here
- Julie: anything with Vanessa Kirby from the Crown has my attention. Grab tickets here
- Consent: You will leave the play, take a few weeks to discuss with your friends and then rave about it to everyone else. Details here
Sun orientated activities
The Love Island contestants may no longer be cooling down in the pool, but we still can. Here’s a list of all the best pools in London for your dipping pleasure. Just please promise me you will apply sunscreen and not be an Alex . Honestly ,with all the strategically placed sunscreen during this season, why did he never pick up a damn bottle of SPF50?
- Hampstead Heath ponds (ladies, mixed)– Dystopian world where ladies rule and we never need men. Truly brilliant.
- Hackney Lido– Get in early or line up for 15 days
- Brockwell Lido– I don’t do South but I had to pretend to leave East sometimes. I’m sure they are nice.
- Tooting Bec Lido– Please see above, I am sure this Lido is lovely. But its South so I’ll never know.
- Shadwell basin- My little secret, you are not supposed to swim here but everyone does. Its never busy but they have zero facilities.
- Hackney Marshes- My second little secret, look beyond the not so clear water and frolic with the other Hackney Wick warehouse dwellers. It can be painfully “cool” occasionally.
Okay, so there you have it – a range of activities that will slowly ease you back into society. Take it slow, and remember that this is a hard time for everyone and we are all here to support each other.
Follow Kate on Twitter here.