Those days. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that start when you wake up and instantly want to clobber yourself over the head with a pillowcase full of rocks so you don’t have to go into work/get out of bed/do anything at all.
I had one of these days myself recently. Late for work (what’s new); I was rushing ’round the house simultaneously brushing my teeth, straightening my hair and trying to clothe myself so as not to scare the general public. I pulled together a half decent outfit and begun the trek to work in relatively good time, as being late goes. Alas, don’t be fooled dear reader, it wasn’t one of those actually kind-of-okay days. Walking along with my housemate, she cautiously enquired, “Erm, Sara? Erm, well, I don’t…erm are those tights a little…navy?” I looked down. They were, in fact, navy. NAVY. They were bloody navy. I should probably mention the rest of my outfit was typically all black, so the navy rebels shone brightly like two twinkling stars in the night sky. In my late-for-work-going-to-get-fired distress, I’d reached into my sock drawer and pulled out a pair of Dot Cotton’s best leg warmers.
I’d accepted my fate when on a trip out of the office to meet an external company; I introduced myself as the ‘co-ordinator type person’ to the manager of the firm. I continued the saga by accidentally dribbling spilt coffee out of my soaking wet tote bag and onto the floor by the prescription pick up – prime spot for the oldies to slip and break a hip. The day was rounded off when the very attractive male shop assistant failed to understand my bumbling waterfall of words when he asked my name, (probably because it sounded something like ‘Mara Sacauley’), at which point I naturally panicked and asked him to hold my lipstick for me because I “needed to go to Topshop.”
So, what can be done when things such as the above happen and you want to crawl into a hole and die? I’ll let you in on some of my tried and tested tips
1. Call a friend
Countless times I have moonwalked my way out of a chasm of self-hatred simply by calling a friend and making an embarrassing situation a funny one. If you can learn to laugh at your mistakes, you’ve won the battle of self-doubt. Pick up your trophy and sass on.
2. Spend money on something for you
When life gets shit (whether in the tongue-in-cheek ways mentioned above or in more serious ways) you need to remember you need kindness too. I’m not suggesting you buy yourself a Prada bag – a simple new lipstick or even a Gregg’s sausage roll will probably do the trick. You do you, babe.
3. Follow this formula
Repeat after me: chicken dippers, cup of tea, bath and bed. In that order. I’ve tried a consoling curry, a pick-me-up pasta, a ‘really?’ risotto. None of them work like chicken dippers. If the thought of those delicious dippers aren’t doing it for you, pick another favourite childhood food to substitute, then continue to follow the formula. You’ll feel better, promise.
4. Breathe
When the day is simply not in your favour, sometimes the best and only thing to do is just to let it go. Some days are rubbish, and that’s a fact of life. Not every day is Instagram-worthy or even worth a mention, really, and that’s ok. You’re not a failure if you miss a deadline and get the wrath of a client, and you’re not a loser if you fall over in front of the person you fancy most in the world. It’s just one of those days. Breathe, there’ll be better ones soon.
