Here’s what to remind yourself after you get cheated on:
- Their actions do not reflect on you.
- They have cheated themselves more than anyone else.
- If they cheat, and still claim to love you, pity them- because they don’t know what love is. And that’s sad.
- Cheating does not define you or your future relationships- you are not damaged, you do not have ‘trust issues’. Don’t let them do that to you.
- Don’t hate the other woman, yes it’s a cruel and immoral thing for them to have partaken in. But they don’t owe you the same amount of loyalty.
- Don’t take a cheater back. The oldest saying in the book ‘once a cheater always a cheater’ may be overused, but it’s true.
- Don’t tell yourself that they are an exception to the above rule and that they’ll change. Likelihood is that they won’t, and you’ll be hurt again.
- It’s not your fault. Don’t let them turn it around, or manipulate you emotionally. You may not be perfect, no one is, but you’re not a liar or a cheater.
- Keep your dignity. It’s hard not to stoop to someone’s level, and throw around cruel words/actions, but don’t, you’ll look back and be so thankful that you came out as the bigger person.
- Don’t hold every person you date to the same standards. There are good ones out there, and they will love you and treat you how you deserve to be.
- It’s normal to be hurt, it’s normal to not be over them straight away. Your feelings aren’t a switch you can turn off, but you have the strength to control those feelings and not let them rule you.
- Don’t remember the good times as currency for the bad. Good memories don’t counteract the bad ones, they just make them harder to accept.
- There is no excuse for hurting someone you love in such a way- hurting those you love happens, but these should be accidents or tough love. Cheating isn’t an accident, no matter how much they say it was. Their dick did not simply land in another woman’s vagina.
- Every relationship teaches you something, even if it’s just not to date wankers, don’t be filled with regret. Onwards and upwards, girl.
Words by Chloe Laws