Perhaps it’s common knowledge, but it was only two weeks ago that I found out that the slight discolouration you get on the gusset bit of your knicks is actually due to the acidity of your vagina. Just cradling your c**t all day can actually cause your pants to naturally bleach, from it’s daily airing. I didn’t think I could love my powerful acidic vagina anymore, but how do I make sure I love it properly?
Forget your Femfresh fanny sprays and your Hollywood waxes (please do not talk to me about shoving glittery eggs up there, mate) I really wanted to know what I could do to make sure not only was I shoving on a face mask every week for “self-care” Sundays, I was making sure my vajay didn’t feel left out. They all look different, taste a little different and often smell different, but the fact of it is the simpler the better when it comes to looking after your genitals. Fuck a perfect pussy, but here is how to have a well-loved labia.
Learn to wash your vulva properly
Those scented soaps and gels you have are more than likely doing more harm than good y’know, sorry. H2O truly is the gift that never stops giving and a splash of warm water is often all that you require to keep yourself feeling fresh. Your actual vagina (the bit inside) cleans itself like the independent, hard working lass that it is, so no need to be soap sudding up there at all. For the outer part – your vulva – where nasty little bacterias can hang around, (normally just a build up of oils and dead skin) all you need is a little warm water and perhaps a very mild, unscented soap. No scrubbing or vigorous washing – a gentle clean is all you need.
Less really is more
You have a v delicate PH balance down there and it really only takes the slightest thing to completely knock it off (and thrush really is a mood killer, amiright)? No need to over-wash though – once a day will do. She’s pretty good at self-drying too, so you can put that towel down as well. Basically, the vagina is really good at natural self-care and maintains a specific acidic PH to prevent infections and keep you healthy. Of course, if something looks wrong, feels wrong, or even smells a bit off to you, go and see your doctor or local gynae. They’ve seen it all before, trust me.
Stay away from scented tampons
And pads too, for that matter. Menstrual blood is SO *bloody* normal, so please don’t try to give it a floral smell. Your period does not need to smell like a lavender air freshener and trying to make it so is only going to fuck up your insides. I don’t care how many times the manufacturers of scented tampons/pads use bullshit language to convince you that putting a “botanical infused” tampon inside of you is the right thing to do, just do not do it. Internal allergic reactions are as far away from pretty and floral as you can get.
Try a Mooncup
The newest and personally, my fave, sanitary product on the block is the Mooncup. Convenient, safe and eco friendly, this little travel friendly silicone cup is your new best friend and can last for years (yes, really)! Made from natural materials, the Mooncup is super comfortable and more importantly doesn’t dry you out, like most tampons do (they absorb up to 35% of your natural vaginal moisture). Holding 3x more than your regular tampon too, it lasts longer even on your heavier days. Latex-free, hypoallergenic and containing no dyes, perfumes, BPA, phthalates, plastic, bleaches or toxins, the Mooncup is also going to help reduce your sanitary waste. Saving the planet whilst you bleed? Yes please.
Love your labia
When I was twelve, I found my sisters Claire’s Accessories pocket mirror. I took it to the bathroom, opened it up, stuck my legs in there, angled it right at my genitals and had a good peer. After considering it, I thought it looked a bit like a pillowy cake, and honestly, who doesn’t love cake? I was happy. It wasn’t until, as a teen, I heard jokes about “flaps” and “huge holes” and started to worry. What if mine didn’t look like everyone else’s? As it turns out, nobodies vagina looked the same. Forget rejuvenating, tightening and enhancing procedures, whatever is normal for you, is normal. Find a pocket mirror and have a good stare. Have a good rummage about and learn to like, even love, every detail of your labia. It’s important, and helpful too. If there is something wrong, you’ll spot it much faster if you’re on good terms with your bits.
Make sex great for you
If you experience pain during sex, please don’t just ignore it. Last year, a study showed that a whopping 1 in 13 women in the UK experience pain during sex. Dyspareunia, as it’s called, is not something to shrug off as ‘just one of those things.’ You deserve to have great, pain-free sex, so go and speak to your GP or Gynae about it if an issue arises. Just swapping positions or using a really good lube (lubricant is your best friend) can often do the trick, but if the pain persists go and talk about it with a professional and get some advice. Sex should be enjoyable only.
Know what makes you feel good
Finding a sex toy/ vibrator that is right for you can take some work. We all have a unique vaginal anatomy, but thankfully there are a wonder of toys out there that will fit our exact curves. Think of it like an assignment and experiment with different types of toys to find out exactly what gets you off.
All in all, having a bit of ‘you’ time is wonderful for your health, happiness and all-round wellbeing, so go forth and masturbate.
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