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Kinky Christmas Gift Guide

Ah Christmas, the time of year for loving and giving, merriness and love. The opportunity to eat so many cheese boards you believe your pores are now emanating yeast. The wonderful opportunity for your Auntie Judith to ask you why you’re “still not courting” and for Grandad Ralph to roll his eyes at your “political correctness” as he wildly expresses his stupid opinions. A season where fleecy pyjamas with baked bean juice down the front are acceptable 9-5 day wear. When school reunions in your small town mean the perfect time to rekindle the flame with Mark who you let finger you, behind the bridge, at 15. Let’s not forget the plethora of amazon gift vouchers you’re about to give out to your extended family, because does your Uncle Steve have any other interests than football?!

Art By @Jennyelizabethdesigns

Or perhaps this year is the year you forgo the voucher tradition in favour of something a little more personal. You research markedly, pouring over gift guides and listening intently to your family’s subtle hints for months. Or perhaps you just decide that fuck it, fuck capitalism and fuck tradition, this year you’re only interested in fucking. (yourself and/or others)

 Well done you. Here is a gift guide that will make all your wildest wettest dreams come true. 2019 = year of kink.

Anal beads make a great gift for Uncle Steve too. Just saying.

Love Honey First Time FunVibrator Kit

For all you sex toy newbies out there, LoveHoney has created the perfect starter kit to get you quivering under the covers. Featuring four different toys in a playful pink and lilac, set your pulse racing with this great value collection of the sites must have favourite vibrators. Expect classics such as the single speed mini bullet, the super powerful egg vibe, the whisper quiet, multispeed classic vibrator and finally the G Spot vibe that guarantees itself to hitting that sweet spot every damn time. Happy cumming.

Savage X Fenty Kitty Whip

If you haven’t already been lusting after every piece in the genius lingerie collection by Rihanna, SAVAGE X FENTY, then you’re about to, with the latest in her Xccessories. Featuring satin sashes in the lushes of colourways, complete with soft feather poms, silky eye masks, feathery marabou handcuffs, satin restraints and my favourite; aptly named kitty whips. Choose from either caviar, fairy dust or goji berry for the colour of your kitty whip. Featuring multiple tail ends and rose gold-tone hardware, this portable prezzie is small enough to pop straight into your handbag. Now it’s up to you if you want to be naughty or nice.

In2Mate Natural Lubricant

What better way to treat yourself, and your pxssy this festive period by making sure its lubed up the healthiest way possible. Enter In2Mate, a natural feeling lubricant with optimised pH, prebiotics and rejuvenating ingredients to restore moisture, smoothness and flexibility. This product impressively boasts that it’s 99.3% natural, comparatively to it 95% natural counterparts. Oh, and it’s vegan too! I’m dreaming of a wet Christmas.

Magnetize Clit Stim Vibrator

“There’s no chance your MCM is able to do that with his fingers now, is there?”

There is no better gift that next level orgasms and this handy little device promises just that. Specifically designed with a targeted magnet located in the tip of the angled shaft this vibrator increases blood flow and sensitivity in your G-Spot. With a range of over 21 speeds and patterns it allows you to personalise your play and experience clit stimulation like never before. There’s no chance your MCM is able to do that with his fingers now, is there?

Torture Garden Latex Elle Harness

Nothing quite says ding dong merrily on high like a torture garden latex harness in a customisable cut and colour. The London fetish club has been expanding their kinky collections every year and their creations never fails to disappoint. From shiny latex collars, corsets, lingerie and every type of accessory you could think of we recommend you treat yourself to a classic Elle Harness in oyster white for a Santa inspired ensemble.  

Elation Gift Set

Another Christmas bargain coming to you from the wonders at Elation, pairing their two bestsellers into this handy gift set for your pleasure (quite literally). This gift includes the perfect pairing of the Elation couples ring and Elation wand. The wand can be used to stimulate the clitoris or alternatively as a sensual body massager. Featuring 5 pulse vibrations you can intensify your sensation at the simple touch of the sensor swipe pad. The ring is designed to satisfy both you and your partner. Place over his cock to keep him harder for longer whilst the powerful vibrations stimulate her clitoris. Both toys are pretty magically programmed with a memory feature that allows you to go back to the last setting you used, so when you find your perfect one, you can cum again and again.

Ann Summers AveLine Crotchelss Body

Trade in your fleecy pyjamas for one day this Christmas and opt for something that doesn’t have yule log down it. Choose between an X Small to and XX large in this lace crotchless body to suit your body type. This Ann Summers bodysuit is a sure fire winner to feel as gorgeous as you bloody well are. Made from soft lace to ensure you feel your sexiest, the soft cups offer a natural look and feel. Perfect for an erotic night in, this body has a diamanté peephole detail and adjustable straps for the perfect fit.

Lelo TIANI™ 2

Swedish design brand Lelo is a little more on the high-end spectrum from a personal prezzie, but sometimes treating yourself is worth every penny.  Opt for the Tiani 2, one of the brands international bestsellers. Worn internally by women when having sex, the exclusive sense motion technology allows users to control the sensation during fucking by the movements of the remote. Designed from soft and flexible silicone this toy feels incredible inside and offers more intensity than ever before. Great for couples who want to share climaxes after pulling a cracker or two.

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