Toxic Relationships, Diet Culture, Faking Orgasms: 5 Things To Leave In The 2010’s

It’s almost New Years Eve! Exciting right? In two days, we will have a new month, a new year and a new decade. It’s the ultimate opportunity for a ‘new year new me’ lifestyle shake up. I’m not talking about cleanses, gym memberships and a change of hair colour. You are FGRLS Club readers so I know you’re too smart for all that but there are a few things that we can leave behind in the 2010’s to make smashing the patriarchy and loving the skin we’re in that little bit easier.

This is by no means a definitive list but take the time to ditch the toxicity and energy drainers from your life and watch 2020 you flourish with a carefree bounce in her step.

Art by Dina Rodriguez, @lettershoppe

1. Diet culture – is the big bad

It’s that voice that we have had ingrained in us since we were children that told us that thinness equates to health and moral virtue. Living in a world with your diet culture goggles on means that you will spend your whole live thinking that you’re broken because you don’t fit the societally mandated ‘ideal’ body type. It is for this reason that I am telling you to do your research (google Diet Culture, HAES, Intuitive Eating… the list goes on), take the goggles off, throw them in the bin and embrace your body for everything that it is and everything that it has done for you. Buh-bye diet culture.

2. Toxic relationships

We’ve all had that friend or family member, we’ll call her Susan. Susan loves to talk about her diet, to make you feel bad because you’re not on a diet and suscks you of all of your energy. Susan also sometimes appears as a one-sided friendship; the one that you put all of the energy into maintaining contact and fixing the persons problems. The thing about this friend is that you are never going to get out of them what you put in so stop wasting your time. Friends and family who don’t respect your time and boundaries do not deserve you.

3. Faking Orgasms

Did you know that 26% of women say that they fake their orgasm every time they fake sex. EVERYTIME. I’m not shaming anyone for faking their orgasms rather as we enter 2020 I want us to leave behind the reasons to fake orgasms. Let’s remove the pressure and this notion that the ultimate goal of sexual intimacy is orgasm, for many it’s not. Can we please talk to men (and everyone else) about while orgasms might be a priority for some, a lack of orgasm (either your own or your partners), does not indicate failure or any inadequacy. Instead we should talk about sex, let us be more open with our wants and needs and really just enjoy getting sweaty with a person that you’re attracted too.

4. Clothes that don’t fit

Refer to step 1. You are perfect just the way you are, if your clothes don’t fit then don’t keep them in the hope that you will one day squeeze back into them. If these items of clothing stay in your wardrobe then they are going to be a constant reminded of your failure. But really, is the failure yours? Is it your body goal or society’s? So, go through your wardrobe, put everything that doesn’t fit into two piles; 1. things to sell on Instagram/Facebook/your local sustainable market place and 2. things to donate. Enjoy the feeling of clothes that actually fit you (you deserve to be comfortable) and also enjoy the little bit of extra cash and knowing that you’ve helped someone in need.

5. Climate change denial

The world is changing and there are enough dystopian shows on Netflix to have the majority of us terrified about our futures. Yet there are many world leaders out there who still refuse to acknowledge that climate change is real and is happening including the USA, Australia, Russia and many other world leaders continue to be reactive rather than proactive including the UK. How we leave the denial of science and evidence in the 2010’s I am unsure, but I know this, if we don’t do something soon then we don’t have much of a world left. In Australia, the equivalent of a third of the Great Britain is currently burning so we need to be proactive! Write to your local MPs, buy a moon cup, use biodegradable bin bags and make your voices heard.

Our lives and our world has changed so much in the last decade, I mean in 2010 Lady Gaga wore her meat dress to the MTV Video Music Awards, GOT had only just aired and I was still rocking a HTC Desire Android phone. And while looking back on the past is fun, it’s time to focus on the future, a new decade, a world of possibilities. A decade without diet culture, toxic relationships and faking orgasms means more energy to throw into smashing the patriarchy and fighting for equality for all. Now that’s a decade that I want to be a part of.

Happy New Year.


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